


Judge Not

by rmartin



Category: Peter Rabbit (2018), Star Wars - All Media Types, This Is Where I Leave You (2014)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Dirty Talk, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Kylux Adjacents, M/M, Misunderstandings, Rimming, Spanking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-06 01:45:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19052743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rmartin/pseuds/rmartin
Summary: Their relationship was truly idyllic. Until Thomas found that picture.---Then he slapped Phillip.It happened so suddenly that Phillip seemed like he didn't even notice that he had been slapped. His hand shot up and he pressed his palm against his burning cheek and then looked at Thomas in disbelief.“I couldn't have fucked up this bad, sweetheart,” he spoke lightly but Thomas could see his growing irritation. “I tried very hard these past months. Can we skip next slapping part and get to the one when you'll tell me what I did or didn't do?”





	Judge Not

Thomas found himself in moments like this unconsciously reaching for a packet of cigarettes and with shaking fingers pushing one between his lips before his mind caught up with the movement of his body and he abruptly pulled the cigarette out of his mouth.

It was an unfortunate habit he learned from Phillip.

Usually, he deemed smoking as bad and convinced himself that this was just a coping mechanism and that sucking on the tip of the cigarette he didn't light up was just as harmless as sucking on the tip of a pen or pencil. But today, for the first time in years perhaps, he felt need to light up the cigarette and breathe in the burning smoke, hurt himself in a way that was too visible for anyone to notice his intentions.

“You don't smoke,” Phillip said as he arrived with the drinks and tapped at Thomas' wrist to get his attention before he handed him whiskey. Thomas ignored his remark and placed the cigarette back into the packet and drowned his drink in one go, ignoring the slight burn of alcohol and enjoying as it settled inside his stomach and made him feel dizzy.

“I don't,” he said after a moment of consideration and pushed the glass away. He tried to hide the trembling of his fingers by forcefully hiding his hands in the pockets of the trousers. He winced when he realized that his voice sounded hoarse. Thomas knew that coming here, accepting Phillip's invitation was a mistake and if it wasn't mistake then it must have been now after he read that message. He wondered if he should mention that he knew but it would mean admitting that he was being stupid when he ignored Bea's insisting pleading that he deserved better.

Phillip, who noticed that Thomas wasn't in his best mood, sipped his drink slowly. He then moved and his hands settled atop Thomas' hip. He squeezed it gently, reminding Thomas that he was still in his presence and despite wanting to offer him another drink, Phillip decided that it would be better to finish his own and move back into their apartment.

Thomas leaned into his partner's touch and allowed himself to relax. A sight of pity escaped his lips and he skimmed the crowd, trying not to think at all. He changed his position so that his back was pressed against Phillip's strong chest and felt as Phillip's hands encircled him and the taller man placed his chin atop Thomas' head and leaned against him while trying to keep them balanced. Thomas breathed in Phillip's scent; cigarettes and something spicy. He remembered that Phillip mentioned having dinner earlier and now that he considered and added that knowledge towards the already pilling up mess, Thomas felt as his heart skipped a beat.

He involuntary shivered when he heard Phillip's voice, quiet but firm. “Let's go home,” he said and Thomas knew that he must have noticed that something was wrong. “It's getting boring anyway.” He spun Thomas around and before the other man could protest, he kissed him. Thomas melted against him, knowing that he didn't have a chance to escape in the first place and willingly parted his lips. His cheeks flushed when he felt as Phillip's hand moved to knead his buttocks. He pressed his palm against the center of Phillip's chest and attempted to push him away. When they parted, Phillip looked at him with a slight smirk and his left hand brushed Thomas' hair, making it messy while his right delivered a firm slap against Thomas' butt. Thomas made a low sound in the back of his throat and forgot all about his misery, about the message and the shitty day and instead became aware that they both were surrounded by crow of people and instantly hid his face in the crook of Phillip's neck before anyone could notice the blush that started to spread over his cheeks. He cursed his pale skin and closed his eyes. Arousal stirred in his groin when he remembered last night and the way Phillip bent him over the bed like a silly bad boy and punished him first with his hands and later with his cock when Thomas could barely stand. He just laid there, with pillow muffling the desperate moans escaping his mouth and Phillip's hand in his hair, pushing his head down so that his ass was raised up.

Phillip laughed at that and finally moved. His hand slid down and stopped at the small of Thomas' back as he guided both of them out. It was snowing outside and so close to Christmas as it was, the streets were decorated with colorful lights. Thomas instantly knew they were heading to his flat instead of Phillip's own and though he knew he shouldn't be thinking about it, the memories came back to him, reaching for him with their crooked fingers and some part of him dreaded him already. They walked in silence and Thomas assumed that Phillip noticed the sudden change in his mood and believed it was some work-related stuff as it happened before.

He linked their hands. Thomas came to notice that Phillip did so often when they were going out, showing Thomas in his pressed suits and perfectly combed hair as some kind of conquest. They've been together for over five months now and Thomas felt like his life and the way he led it before changed completely.

Despite Thomas trying to be proper at all times, he met with Phillip during one of his drunken states after a particularly bad day and woke up the following day in Phillip's bed with a bad headache and knowledge that he lost his virginity to a man he barely knew. He's never mentioned to Phillip that he was Thomas' first in most things – not only sex but also dating. Thomas wasn't unattractive in any way, he knew that for sure otherwise, Phillip's eyes would never have landed on him that night. People often thought him as an arrogant and some even mentioned him having a huge stick up to his ass. He found out pretty early in his life that his behavior to most of the people was the main reason why he wasn't able to form any deeper connections when in reality he was trying to keep his distance and know the person better before he would consider opening up. Another problem why he was a virgin in his thirties was that he wasn't overly interested in investing his time into relationships. At times he believed it might be worth it but overall he found it overwhelming to become so dependent on someone.

It was slightly different with Phillip.

Thomas felt like this thing between the two of them was different. He wasn't even aware that he was Phillip's boyfriend until he was invited for a dinner with Phillip's sister. It came to him naturally to think that there was some kind of relationship between them and decided to give himself the title of a boyfriend though he never considered asking Phillip if it was true or not. They both seemed to silently agree that they were committed to one another.

Phillip asked the question he seemed to be eager to ask since they left to go out that evening. He stared at Thomas who was taking off his coat and untying his shoes. “Is everything alright?” he wondered and though he didn't try to move closer, Thomas understood that he wanted nothing more than to wrap his hands around Thomas' middle and keep him pinned and secure in his embrace. Thomas finally forced himself to look at him and all the accusations that were meant to roll on his tongue disappeared. His cheeks flushed red and his face heated. In one moment he was staring at Phillip, willing himself to ask for some sort of explanation, the other he practically jumped at his boyfriend and crushed their lips together. Phillip, evidently surprised by his eagerness hoisted his legs up and Thomas answered in wrapping them around Phillip's waist. He tangled his fingers in Phillip's dark locks and roughly tugged them.

“Fuck me,” he murmured against Phillip's lips but instead of hearing the confirmation of his request, Thomas found himself being pushed away. He stared confused into Phillip's face and when he found the serious expression he was not used to, he was convinced that Phillip was about to break up with him. He untangled his legs from around Phillip's waist and lowered himself down. He let go of Phillip's hair and hid them behind his back.

He schooled his expression and willed himself to keep still. He wasn't used to Phillip saying no to sex. He seemed always so eager, always prepared to fuck Thomas. “What is it?” he asked and knew that his voice sounded high-pitched. He winced when Phillip gently cupped his cheek and kissed Thomas on the lips, this time slower.

“Something happened at work?” Phillip asked when they parted. Thomas frowned. He shook his head in an almost violent manner.

“Of course not,” he said with a scowl. “How could you think that? The work is fine, it's better than usual. It's not _that_ but – “

Phillip narrowed his eyes. He could play an awfully caring boyfriend if he was in the mood as he was right now. Usually, such confrontation ended in fucking, either vicious and rough or slow and gentle but it didn't matter. The point was that Phillip's cock always managed to fill Thomas' ass. Sometimes he thought that the point of these talks was just to get Thomas hyped up so he would be more willing but it sounded awful and there's never been a moment when he wasn't willing. He decided that Phillip just wanted to be considerate for once.

“But?” he questioned and instantly felt like there was something Thomas didn't tell him or didn't want to tell him. He led Thomas toward the couch and seated him down before he joined him. His hands massaged Thomas's arms and though the other man still refused to answer, Phillip tried not to rush him. He knew that it took time before Thomas opened up and though he usually wasn't feeling very patient for it to happen, he decided that tonight he'll just grit his teeth and will get over with it. A few minutes passed and finally, Thomas broke. He sighed as if he was in physical pain and pushed Phillip's hands away.

“You could fuck me first,” he said. “Then we'll do the talking part. It would be easier I think. Do you remember mentioning that you'd like to see me in lace?” He jumped from the couch. “I bought something for myself. It's just a little thing but…” Even though he saw that he managed to distract Phillip for a second, the other man did his best to ignore the previous comment about the lace and tried to push away the picture that popped inside his head, Thomas standing in the middle of the room, naked except for a pair of lacy panties hugging his thin hips rather nicely. Phillip felt as his member twitched and started filling with blood and he shifted in discomfort.

Thomas noticed it and was prepared to kneel down and unzip Phillip's trousers when he was guided back. Phillip touched his hands and squeezed them reassuringly. “Later,” he said and it was obvious that it pained him to say so. “Now, tell me what happened. Has somebody told you something? I can get someone to assassinate them, you know.” He cracked a soft smile and Thomas pressed his lips into a thin line.

Then he slapped Phillip.

It happened so suddenly that Phillip seemed like he didn't even notice that he had been slapped. His hand shot up and he pressed his palm against his burning cheek and then looked at Thomas in disbelief.

“I couldn't have fucked up this bad, sweetheart,” he spoke lightly but Thomas could see his growing irritation. “I tried very hard these past months. Can we skip next slapping part and get to the one when you'll tell me what I did or didn't do?”

Thomas too, starting to get angry at Phillip's irritation stood up abruptly. Maybe that dick didn't even consider the possibility of Thomas finding out about his affair. He refused to take the blame for this. If Phillip broke up with him suddenly, Thomas would admit that it was partly his fault too because he didn't know how one should act in a relationship. But this situation was completely different. The fact that Phillip was cheating on him was done purposely and Thomas felt not only betrayed but also humiliated.

“Now you make it sound like it is my fault,” he said coldly. Not only Phillip but Thomas too was shocked at the freezing tone he used. He's never been this dismissing towards Phillip and the other man seemed to realize it too because he attempted to soothe his own tone and try to get rid of the irritation that started to show.

He stood up slowly and reached for Thomas, hoping they could find the explanation for this situation together but Thomas jumped back. He saw as Phillip's expression saddened. “I am very confused right now, sweetheart.” He called Thomas _sweetheart_ only when he knew that he was in trouble. The playfulness left his eyes. He was very serious at that moment. “Maybe you could tell me what I did. I swear I will listen to you without any interruptions and then I'll try to explain.” He didn't seem to realize that his soothing tone was making Thomas angry only more. Despite knowing that Phillip wasn't trying to hurt him actively at that moment, he felt as his rage flared up. It felt like he was being mocked for his trust, for believing that the relationship between him and Phillip could be stable.

Instead of sitting down and Phillip and talking about the whole incident, he walked out of the living room and grabbed his coat. Phillip briefly appeared in the hall and when he noticed that Thomas was putting on his clothes, he tried to stop him. “Sweetheart,” he murmured brokenly. “It's very cold outside. Wouldn't it be better to stay here? I can make you tea. We don't have to talk. I'll be quiet, I promise.”

Thomas felt as his eyes swelled with tears. Ever since he found the compromising photograph of some woman between Phillip's messages he was more in a shock and now when the shock passed he felt miserable. “Relationships are for two people. Two! Even I know it. I can't understand why you refuse to admit that the problem is that you are putting your dick into other people while I am not around.” He shuttered when he imagined that woman and her hands wrapped around Phillip's neck. Thomas looked away. Maybe he fucked her here too while Thomas was in work. He promised to himself that he'll change the sheets once he'll kick Phillip out.

“Excuse me?”

Thomas frowned at the tone Phillip used. He raised his head and saw the expression that appeared on Phillip's face. His dark eyes seemed to grow even darker. He crossed the distance between them and Thomas involuntary flinched as he believed that Phillip was about to hit him. The other man didn't seem to notice it in his fury. His hands were balled into fists and his face was ghostly pale. “What's the matter with you?” he asked. “I am not the best person but I don't cheat on people. I break up and then I move on but I've never intended to break up with you. How the hell did you come up with that idea, Thomas? We are in a fucking relationship and the only people who are part of this relationship is you and me. Don't start throwing some false accusations at me when you don't understand what you're talking about. This is simply ridiculous!”

Thomas stepped back when he heard him shout. He reached for the door and Phillip seemed to finally realize his mistake.

“Thomas?” he softly whispered and noticed that Thomas was already opening the door. Tears were rolling down Thomas' cheeks. Phillip swiftly moved forward. “I didn't mean to raise my voice, sweet –“

The door soundly closed behind Thomas as he walked out of his flat.

 

 

Next few days Thomas avoided going to the places where he knew he could meet Phillip. He turned off his phone and every time he was forced to turn it back on he found thousands of messages and missed calls from Phillip.

He did the right thing.

But he felt like shit. Thomas decided that the sadness would pass but it didn't seem quite likely. All he wanted to do was to lay in his bed and never leave the safety of it. He locked the door of his flat and went out only when he was needed at work. Even the people he worked with noticed the change and often offered him looks full of pity. It wasn't hard to guess that they thought that Phillip dumped him.

He continued to work, eat only when he deemed it necessary and miss Phillip's presence in his life. He considered buying himself a cat to get rid of the feeling of loneliness. Suddenly he had too much of free time and no plans what to do with it. He didn't have many friends, only colleagues in fact and he wasn't to start meeting with them just because there was no one else.

Phillip didn't come to bother him to his flat at first. But a week after their supposed break-up Thomas woke up to the sound of loud banging on his door and after he rolled from the bed, he recognized Phillip's voice calling out his name. He hesitated and moved toward the door. The banging became louder.

“I won't leave this time,” Phillip threatened. “I will bang on this door until you open them and let me in. And I know you're inside.” He stopped banging for a second. “I can hear you breathing.” Thomas closed his eyes and sighed.

He opened the door.

Phillip seemed to be shocked to see the state he was in. He exchanged his pressed suits for pants and t-shirts that were too big for him. His hair was a mess and he didn't bother to brush his teeth or shower himself. His muscles ached and he felt exhausted whenever he moved. It almost made him angry to see Phillip at the peak of his health, looking better than ever. Thomas changed his mind and was prepared to close the door again when Phillip stepped in. The movement was so sudden that Thomas had to step back otherwise their chests would touch and lost his balance. Phillip caught him before he fell on the ground and kept him upright even despite Thomas' protests.

They stared at each other for a while. “You look terrible,” Phillip said with a lightness in his voice and Thomas wanted to push him back in the direction of the door and show him that their relationship was definitely over. But before he managed to do that, Phillip grabbed his forearm and calmly dragged him into the bathroom. Once they were in, he closed the door and took off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves. Thomas stared at him in bewilderment.

“What the hell is this?” he growled when he was forced to turn around and suddenly faced the mirror. He was shocked to see his face, how swollen it became after days of constant crying. He didn't even notice that Phillip turned on the water and trusted a toothbrush into Thomas' hand.

“Wash your teeth,” he said and offered Thomas a gentle smile. “I'll make us breakfast.” He turned around and Thomas didn't even try to stop him. Instead, he looked down and stared at the toothbrush before he pushed it inside his mouth. He saw that Phillip turned in the doorway and winked at him. It almost seemed that evening didn't happen at all and though Thomas was all eager to forget, he couldn't.

“Take shower, sweetheart,” Phillip added and from his tone, Thomas deducted that the other man too, was still aware that they needed to talk. The door closed with a silent click and Thomas lowered himself on the ground and wrapped his hands around his knees. After he was finished cleaning his teeth and washing the sink, he took off his clothes and turned on the water in the shower. He went in without bothering to check whether it was too cold or too hot and instead kept thinking about Phillip who was now in the kitchen. He could hear the sounds of mugs being moved to the side and Phillip's gentle whistling. Thomas, as much as he tried, couldn't really miss the silence that fell on his flat during Phillip's absence.

He washed his hair. The water was too cold and he showered quickly, not eager to stand under the spray of the freezing water for too long. Soon after he finished the shower he found out about another problem. There was no towel in his room and Thomas' cheeks flushed in humiliation when he realized that he needed to ask Phillip to either bring him one or he could put on his clothes without previously drying himself. He reached for the doorknob but gave up quickly and instead grabbed his clothes and put them on, feeling as they clung on his skin when he tried to move. His hair was dripping with water too and when he walked out from the bathroom, he felt as chills ran down his spine. He entered the kitchen a moment later and found Phillip leaning against the kitchen aisle, sipping coffee from Thomas' favorite mug and quietly humming a song Thomas didn't know. Their eyes met and Phillip smiled faintly. He put the mug away and licked his lips.

“You are soaked,” he said as he came closer and his fingers ran through Thomas' hair. He flinched when he realized how close Phillip was standing. The other man had to notice his hesitation because his expression changed and though he still didn't seem guilty enough, there was that sadness in his eyes Thomas hated to see.

“I made pancakes,” Phillip said when Thomas tried to brush past him. “Your favorite,” he added and his fingers wrapped around Thomas' wrist. “Thomas. Sweetheart.” Again he used that tone as if he wasn't aware of what he did. “I'd like to talk to you.”

“We don't need to talk,” Thomas said and his throat tightened. He felt like crying again. “I don't think I want to hear your excuses. Why are you here, Phillip? I thought I made myself very clear. This was clearly a mistake.”

Phillip frowned. “You walked out of the door, Tommy.” Thomas felt as he froze. Phillip used that nickname only during their sex-scenes and only when Thomas was in trouble. “I tried to call you but you ignored me. I tried to talk to you but you slapped me. I am confused, really. I have no idea what I did. I can be a dick sometimes but I am at least aware of it. I thought we were happy. I certainly was. And I thought…” He sighed. “What is it, Tommy? What are you not telling me?”

“I didn't fuck up,” Thomas hissed. “I didn't fuck up this time. But you did. You fucked up so bad that whenever I think about that I want to erase you from my life completely.” He wanted to slap Phillip again but he couldn't move.

“I'll leave.” Thomas stared at him in shock. It was what he wanted and yet when Phillip said those words he wished for something completely different. It had to hurt so much just because Thomas loved him, there was no other explanation for that. “But first I need you to tell me. I cannot leave you without knowing what I did or didn't do. You tell me and I am out.”

He let go of Thomas and turned his face towards him. His expression was pleading. Thomas took a deep breath and when he thought that he wouldn't cry, tears started to roll down his cheeks. He licked his lips. “Very well,” he said and straightened himself. “I know that you fucked her. I know that you were fucking her while we were together.” He expected to see guilt in Phillip's eyes, the horror, the realization that Thomas found out and that he knew. Instead, he found only shock. Phillip closed his eyes as if to calm himself and when he opened them again, his face remained blank. Then he started to laugh. His body was shaking. Thomas wanted to push him away and walk out of the room.

“Whom was I fucking, Tommy?” he wanted to know after he was done with laughing. “I am very confused now. I fucked only you, my sweet little Thomas. Why would I want anyone else?” And again he seemed to be in playful mood because he moved closer and his hands wrapped around Thomas's waist. He pressed them together.

Thomas gulped. He felt as his member started to fill with blood. “I saw that message,” he murmured. “She sent you a picture. You fucked her otherwise she wouldn't send you a naked picture and complimented on your cock.”

“But I have a nice cock,” Phillip said. It earned him a glare. He shook his head and his dark hair messily fell on his shoulders. “No. Jokes aside. Listen.” He took his phone from inside of his pocket and handed it to Thomas. “Show me the picture. Show me and I will tell you the truth and explain it to you.” They stared at each other for a moment and Thomas wondered if this was just a trick. He found himself nodding and quickly unlocked the phone. He opened Phillip's message and scrolled down until he found the unknown number and clicked on the picture. He closed his eyes when he saw it again, feeling as jealousy filled him from inside.

“There,” he murmured. “There!” He turned the phone so Phillip could look and felt as his body started to shake in rage.

Phillip stared at the picture. “You are right,” he said. “I fucked her.” Thomas immediately tried to push him away but Phillip only tightened his embrace and kept Thomas pinned in place. “Let me finish the story. She's my ex. The last time I saw her was three years ago. She is married now, I think. And pregnant from what I saw on her Facebook.” He pressed a kiss against Thomas' cheek. “Look at the date,” he mumbled as next. “It's an old photograph. I should have deleted it but I never got around to do it.”

Thomas checked the date just as he was told and stared in shock at the number. The awkward silence stretched over them as Thomas realized his mistake. Phillip was right. That photograph was sent three years ago. He returned Phillip his phone and groaned before he hid his face in Phillip's chest. “I am sorry,” he whimpered. “I am so fucking sorry.”

His voice was shaking and Phillip quietly ran his fingers through Thomas' hair until the other man calmed down. “That's fine,” he said. “I am glad that there was an explanation for this situation.” He smiled at Thomas when he finally pulled away from his chest. “Don't cry, anymore. There is no need for that.”

“You made pancakes,” Thomas remembered suddenly. “We should eat them before they'll get cold.” He was stopped when Phillip started pressing kissing against the column of his throat. His body immediately melted and he quietly moaned.

“I think you need to make it up to me,” Phillip said and his hands sneaked lower and patted Thomas' but before they delivered a firm slap. “Are you going to be a good boy for me, Tommy?” he asked and Thomas found himself eagerly nodding, half-hard and already desperate.

“Yes, sir,” he whimpered.

 


End file.
